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Read "The Game Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists" by Neil Strauss available from Rakuten Kobo. Sign up today and get $5 off your first download. Apr/2 #site #eBook Daily #Deal The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists by Neil Strauss #General #Sexual #Health #Fitness #Dieting #Sex . The Game book. Read reviews from the world's largest community for readers. Hidden somewhere, in nearly every major city in the world, is an underg. .
The amount of actual advice on how to pick up women is tiny This is a memoir -slash- cautionary tale about the dangers of living your life constantly seeking validation from others.
The various PUA artists in this book are all depicted as sad, pathetic, self-loathing, mentally unstable people who truly believe that being desirable to others will make them like themselves more. But from chapter one Strauss makes it clear that doesn't happen. They get everything they think they want and end up more miserable for it. The problem is this book is too fucking long.
I half suspect that most of the people both women and men who talk about it in terms of its seduction secrets did not read it to the end. Add to this the fact that Strauss is trying to stay in character as he narrates his journey from True Believer to Disillusioned Master and the profound brilliance of The Game barely has a chance.
There are plenty of hints dropped throughout the book about Strauss's eventual enlightenment, but some people have no mind for subtly I guess. Attraction is not physical, but psychological. Part of what annoys me about the so-called "feminist" reaction to this book is that there's a multi-billion dollar industry built around convincing women of the exact opposite and humiliating anyone who dares to call bullshit.
An industry that makes the bulk of its money by inventing flaws and imperfections to make women feel horrible about themselves. And yet the best we can come up with to combat it are fairytales about "different standards of beauty"? These feminists act like liberation from the image-obsessed media is all about accepting your lot in life and just waiting for a partner whose standard of beauty happens to fit your look to come along.
They accept the underlying notion that some people are "pretty" and some are not The big problem with this thinking is that people are not static. Looks change over time. If the answer was to rely on the off chance someone somewhere thinks you are beautiful exactly the way you are By contrast Mystery's Method claims attraction has more to do with how people feel around you than how you look.
Mystery teaches his students about group think and instructs his pupils to focus on the friends of the hot girl, rather than the hot girl. People are strongly influenced by the opinion of the group. Anyone who's taken a basic organizational behavior class has read the mounds of research on this. When your target sees everyone around her acting like you are amusing and desirable, she will be more attracted to you.
People become much more susceptible to that suggestion when they themselves feel insecure. So the second thing Mystery teaches his students is the "neg". Probably the most controversial part of the book, the neg is basically just a back handed compliment.
It's teasing, innocent, and delivered in a flirtatious manner. It's this disconnect between the words which sound like a criticism and the way they are delivered which sounds positive that makes people second guess themselves. And the suggestion that maybe the PUA isn't interested in the target makes the target more likely to convince themselves of an attraction. The group desires something apparently unattainable Of course some readers seem to have interpreted the passages about negs to mean "act like a fucking jerk" That's not at all what Strauss is describing.
Most of The Game's secrets resonated with me because I've been there. When I was twenty-two my life fell apart and I moved to the Czech Republic to escape my demons. My first week there I fell for a stocky, thirty-six year old statistician with a bowl cut and coke bottle thick glasses Revenge of the Nerds all the way.
I knew objectively speaking this man was in no way attractive, but I couldn't help myself. I had the biggest crush. I was also in a strange country where I didn't speak the language.
I had no idea where I was going to live, whether I could get a job. Of course I was smitten. At the same time two of my American roommates were fighting over a balding, short, bespeckled geologist who smoked way too much pot and had abandoned his pregnant girlfriend back in the states to run off to Prague So yes, it's not that people have "different standards of beauty", it's that attraction is psychological. Now take a minute to consider what that means: Right now.
Absolutely anyone. The determining factor is not perfecting your physical form, but making them feel a certain way around you. They won't suddenly think you're beautiful, they will suddenly not care that you aren't. Consider that unlike your physical appearance, your personality and social skills don't change.
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Every girl in America should read this book. Strauss moves from discussion of technique to long rambling conquest stories with backgrounds of various PUA mixed in. Although the PUAs become important later, at least half of these could have been cut. Prior to this Strauss has tried to maintain the voice and perspective of someone who believes he has discovered the secrets of the universe.
There is the occasional remark that alludes to problems with the PUA lifestyle many of his Until Strauss's mentor begins to self-destruct.
At this point Strauss realizes that most of his students haven't gained anything by being PUAs, they've actually lost a lot. Even though they win the women they want, they only wanted those women in the first place because they were trying to impress others. Instead of seducing the crowd to win the girl, they are trying to win the girl to seduce the crowd.
Instead of surrounding themselves with awesome people who make them happy, they inevitably surround themselves with people who they think will make them look attractive and successful to others but ultimately do not like. This soulless existence only increases their underlying self hate. The tragedy being that as soon as the PUA gets to know the person providing the validation, once they become a human being with their own flaws and insecurities, they're approval is no longer valuable.
And so the cycle continues until everyone is miserable. Nov 29, Leajk rated it it was ok Recommends it for: Recommended to Leajk by: Know thy enemy. One extra star for pure entertainment value, especially the very first scene where 'the hero' of the book, Mystery, lies curled up crying on the floor of the communal pickup mansion dressed in the bathrobe previously belonging to his stripper ex-girlfriend. Apparently he misses her, like a lot, which is quite sweet I suppose.
That is for a man who reinvented himself from a living-in-his-parents-basement type of guy, to the cons-insecure-wannabe-starlets-in-LA type of guy. And the Know thy enemy. And thereby invented the trend of men wearing ugly hats. And ugly jewlery. And doing 'negging'.
And who destroyed magic for me. And briefly dating. Actually strike what I said earlier: I think I just enjoyed to read about him crying. You know how there's always the shy, but kind of nice, guy in every group of men? Me and my friends knew two of those in two separate groups of guy friends during high-school. The funny thing was that they were so similar to us, despite their groups being very different, that we thought they might've been twins. Both were tall, thin which they tried to hide with ill fitting clothes and with blonde badly cut hair.
Both of them were as I said quite shy, and were both hoping to have future careers within computer sciences of some sort. One of them once arrived at one of our parties to cry on a couch during the rest of the evening. He had just reached the profound realisation that he was never getting laid.
One of my girl friends force fed him ice-cream in an effort to make him feel better. So I understand the frustration of teenage boys not getting laid.
Hell, I understand the frustration of teenage girls not getting laid. I've been there. Then on the other hand you have the other of my blonde geeky high school friends, let's call him Mike. Mike was always one of the most talkative ones in his group of friends. He was friendly and easy to get along with, although shy around girls he didn't know.
Then suddenly at one party he started to become really snappy. He'd criticize all the female attendants clothing and most of what they said. We asked him what the hell he was doing and it turned out that he had just read this book It turned out to be 'The Game naturally. We asked him to please stop and go back to being, you know, a normal polite human being. He insisted on keeping up with the book, and although his clothing and hair style went from bad to worse, he did eventually get laid.
Though he never seemed too happy about it. She wasn't hot enough or something. This was my first exposure to The Game. Years later I met this other quite shy but friendly guy who due to certain circumstances, such as the number of people left in that town during summer being low, I ended up spending some time hanging out with.
Physically he was the absolute opposite of those earlier male friends, but this guy had constant diet and self-improvement plans going on so it shouldn't have come as a surprise when he drunkenly confessed to having read The Game after I had previously made fun of the book at a book shop. He even confessed to trying to use the techniques in the book on me.
This was when I decided to read this book, in pure self-defense. And I found it a great read. In fact the rest of that summer I wouldn't shut up about it. I felt it was my personal calling to tell all of my girl friends about it so that they wouldn't fall for any of the tricks. In fact I even managed to detect this awful 'are the two of you best friends? So is my rating of two stars really fair? After all I did found it funny, fascinating and it made for a great conversation piece.
However as I said in the shorter version of my review, it also brought so much pain and suffering into this world. Neil Strauss might be the sane straight man in the story, the one who points out all the follies in the system and who eventually gets out and gets a 'happy ending' i.
I say obviously because I keep meeting these men who just didn't get it. Who download into the negging and peacocking, but engage in no genuine self-improvement I'm not talking about them downloading more self-improvement books here, I mean coming to peace with one self.
This might not have been Strauss' intent, but his description of how he went from sexless nerd to sex stud, sure did not help. I think it's that last aspect that disturbs me the most.
That the book implies that men and women are really all that different. I mean I read The Selfish Gene which I think sadly is on Mystery's recommended reading list , and that is not the message I took away from that at all. Sure some biological differences might mean we have different pros and cons in 'the game', but ultimately we all want the same thing: And that's why this book is sad on so many levels, it makes women out to be this exotic species to be studied from afar.
It also makes it so that there are no cultural differences. Instead Strauss claims that since their strategies worked both all over LA and once in Bulgaria or was it Romania? Oh, and it's not only the wanna be actresses women you meet in the night clubs in LA, actually one of the women in the Eastern European country they were in, she was a doctor of some sorts, and she liked them, so boom - it works on all smart women as well!
I could go on and on, but I'd like to end this review by issuing a warning for all potential readers: Or possibly read The Art of Love , it seems like fun View all 24 comments.
This is a fascinating trip to vicarious realization of Eros' dreams of shy guys--e. Yet, a journey that--as one might suspect--comes to the author's recognition of the emptiness of sexual prolificity. I concede this isn't one most of my friends will read. I'm a guy who fits every profile in Quiet: I would drift off to sleep nights, praying for a cure. In fact, up until I was maybe 17, it was dreadful: I would clam up even around girls who pursued me.
Anyhow, Strauss, a reporter for Rolling Stone, decided he was tired of losing with the ladies so he signs up for some pickup artists' courses and infiltrates the pick-up society. As it turns out, these guys are far from the bores I pictured when I heard "pickup artist. When I look back on those long ago days of a quarter century ago when I was single, I would have given anything to know the secrets of "Mystery" and his "Method. Apparently, this " negging " is a well-worn technique of initial primitive attraction, much more successful than not, if the man can maintain his confidence and her interest.
Examples include: There it goes again! What are you, like 4'9" without 'em? Well, not like cute-cute, more like puppy-cute " " I think I saw you here a few weeks ago. Were you wearing that same dress? It IS a nice dress. You really wrecked a moment!
Your old boyfriends must have really hated that about you. It's all so demeaning to the female. Nonetheless, given my background, yes, it is true that I would find this all very fascinating, notwithstanding its lack of practical use to me now given my age and marital status. Strauss becomes so proficient and successful that he became somewhat of a mythical figure in the pickup society.
Given his appearance and comportment at the beginning--bald, a big honker, short--I seems quite astounding. Alas tho, in the end, he came to a few self-revelations: I was experiencing seducer's paradox: The better a seducer I became, the less I loved women. Success was no longer defined by getting laid or finding a girlfriend, but by how well I performed. Sometimes it stops being casual. People develop a desire for something more.
And when one person's expectations don't match the other person's, then whoever holds the highest expectations suffers. There is no such thing as cheap sex. It always comes with a price. Mar 11, Derek rated it really liked it. Impossible to put down.
This is a fascinating tale of a guy with marginal skills with the ladies despite fame , who sets out on a life changing mission to master picking up women. I dare you to try and not get hooked in the first few pages. The characters are philanderers, gigolos, wannabes, braggarts, and every dysfunctional category in between. Their quest is obvious, and thrust in your face; to hook up with as many beautiful women as possible.
Strauss becomes prolific at the social marketing Impossible to put down. Strauss becomes prolific at the social marketing skill, and becomes addicted to his casanova killer abilities. But as is so often the case, the higher levels of his skill seduction lessens the inner drive and excitement he feels towards his conquest.
The chase becomes not only boring, but a bit frightening. Not a spoiler here, but the author reflects. He ponders. He accidentally finds an inner moment observing from third person where his life has now taken him.
He wonders if it is all he wants to become. He looks closer at his bizarre friends. All of them have major issues. Is this what he really wants? Strauss has written several best sellers, as well as for Rolling Stone, and literally has no competition when it comes to spinning tales of this type. For this genre, I recommend picking up the best three. The Mystery Method: His encyclopedia-like book reads like a PHD college course on seduction.
It is the template for what Strauss uses in the Game. It lays out the techniques, terminology, and methodology for anyone to learn. This is a devious sexual persuasion guide for hooking up, written by a psych doc who cruised the nightclubs with great success for a decade. It also contains an asset protection guide to set up pre-marriage to shield you from divorce.
Get these three, and get ready to laugh and learn. Really interesting books. Aug 22, Jim Reaugh rated it did not like it Shelves: I think The Game straddles the line between comedy and tragedy. If, as I truly would like to believe, Strauss is joking, then the book is a comic masterpiece.
If the book is an attempt at non-fiction, then the number of devotees is nothing short of tragic. Some of the recommended pick-up techniques are sinister. One involves discreetly undermining a woman's self-esteem by paying her a backhanded compliment in the hope that she will hang around to seek your approval!!?? Honestly, sinister I think The Game straddles the line between comedy and tragedy.
Honestly, sinister soon gives way to pathetic in this book. The Game is really a book about the fragility of male ego and how it seeks refuge from the complexity of human relations in a puerile cult of sexual conquest. I find it remarkable how Strauss races up the ranks of the pick-up fraternity even before he has procured so much as a snog from a lady. So bereft of charisma are most of the people who haunt the lothario chatrooms that anyone with a modicum of self-awareness and humour can take command.
It soon becomes clear that the approval PUA's get from other men is more intoxicating than the pleasure they get from sex.
Mar 22, Marrick rated it liked it. I learned that I am what, in pick up artist "PUA" parlance, is called a "natural. So I didn't pick this book up for its instructional content. Rather, I was intrigued into reading this book by curiosity. I wanted to see how my life experience stacked up with my preconceived notion of a true PUA.
I envisioned a PUA as being a highly confident, suave, cool operator that women swoon over without being able to control themselves. I learned that my concept of I learned that I am what, in pick up artist "PUA" parlance, is called a "natural.
I learned that my concept of what the PUA is, prior to reading this book, was wrong. In fact, PUAs are very insecure, needy, but intelligent people that have figured out how to give off the illusion of being confident and interesting, to trick or some may say "persuade" women into casual, short-term and primarily physical relationships.
Yet, they long for the long-term relationships, built on emotional connections, that us "naturals" seek and often maintain, but have mistakenly chosen what they perceive to be the best path to get there- i.
I'll cease any further substantive review because I don't want to spoil the book for anyone interested in picking it up pun intended. But I will add two more comments: First, viewed in a general sense, the concepts discussed in this book within the context of meeting and successfully "closing" women, can be applied to all other aspects of life. I plan to incorporate them into my practice and use some of them to "pick up" new clients and negotiate and close business deals.
Many of the concepts in Strauss' book were restatements of concepts I found in marketing and persuasive psychology books I've read. Second, the writing is good and it flows well despite Strauss' style of doing the little things that writing instructors and agents caution against- for instance, his frequent use of descriptors that end in "ingly," and switching tenses too often in the same chapter. Some writers can pull this off and still give you a good read.
Strauss is one of those writers.
It's a page turner. Mar 27, Polly Trout rated it liked it. There are some very valid reasons to skim through this controversial, pornographic, poorly written, and often obnoxious anthropological tour of the "seduction community," a network of men who use social psychology and hypnosis to pick up women. First, women should know that this exists and defend themselves accordingly -- if you don't want to wade through a whole book on the subject, here's a synopsis: It's fascinating and queasy at the same time.
The seco There are some very valid reasons to skim through this controversial, pornographic, poorly written, and often obnoxious anthropological tour of the "seduction community," a network of men who use social psychology and hypnosis to pick up women.
The second reason is that although this book got slammed by feminists, Strauss is actually a whole lot smarter and more thoughtful than he first appears on the surface. The book is a pseudo-memoir in the gonzo journalism style, mixing participant observation with tall tales about life in the meat market.
Strauss is not a missionary for the movement, but instead charts his own relationship with the seduction community from skepticism to enthusiasm to ambivalence to rejection. I don't know how anyone could miss this, since the opening chapter is about a famous pickup artist's psychotic break and existential despair, and the book continuously circles around the underlying anxiety and loneliness that drives the pickup mentality.
Compared to "Fear and Loathing," which does hilariously glorify drugs, sex, and mayhem, Strauss's gonzo style is more critical and distanced. Here is how he ends the book: Being together has required a lot more time and work than learning to pick up women ever did, but it has brought me far greater satisfaction and joy. Perhaps that's because it is not a game. Sometimes it takes some baby steps to break out of a disabling mental box, and Strauss charts how sex can sometimes function as a psychic icebreaker to get somebody who is stuck moving forward towards real life.
The sex drive is powerful enough to motivate someone who has dug themselves into a deep and alienating silo to climb out of it, and that motivation, under the right circumstances, can help break them out of dysfunctional patterns that are not working. For example, my favorite part of the book comes early on: Strauss has just signed up for a "workshop" with a pickup artist, who is bringing him and some other shy and geeky guys to night clubs and teaching them how to pick up women.
Another guy in the same workshop is 26 and never even kissed a girl before. He is so shy that he cannot use a urinal, because peeing in front of other guys terrifies him. A few weeks later, he excitedly shares, "I can pee beside people now!
It's all about confidence. So the stuff I learned in the workshop isn't just for chicks after all Just because you've always done something a certain way doesn't mean you are eternally doomed to repeat it, people can change and grow and learn.
The self is flexible. Social skills, like any skills, can be learned, studied, and honed. It's better to take a risk and throw yourself out there than to waste your life accruing bitter regrets. The only way to learn new skills is to be willing to experiment and fail and sometimes look foolish, but if you stick with it and pay attention and get good advice and mentoring, you will get better at it eventually and be glad that you had the patience and balls to move out of your crippling little box.
Our society is filled with women and men who are lonely and bored and stuck and who want desperately to connect and live and have fun but don't know how to get there. The sad thing about the book is that it documents the tragic lack of vision in people who settle for the shallow, canned interactions of casual sex rather than taking a real risk with full, authentic relationships.
Oct 14, Giselle rated it did not like it Shelves: Read this almost ten years ago and was appalled that there is a community of PUAs Pick-Up-Artists that go around doing all of this just to get laid. So I read the book so I can be aware of these sleaze bags and their methods.
They actually think Read this almost ten years ago and was appalled that there is a community of PUAs Pick-Up-Artists that go around doing all of this just to get laid. Such utter BS! This is why men dehumanize women. Use women as objects, make them their property. Add another notch to their belt and brag to their buddies about how many women they have bedded. A whole community of disgusting advice like this exists. Wish more women read this disgusting book so they can be more aware of what type of predator these men can be.
Oct 30, Jenny rated it really liked it Recommended to Jenny by: Pete's book club. Oh wow, hard to say if I'm horrified or fascinated or what. I guess some of both. Good thing I'm reading this for book club cuz I can't wait to discuss. I can't believe this is for real. And then what I'm wondering is, what are girls supposed to do?
Just sit there and look pretty? But here's some quotes I liked: And by waiting, they miss out. Usually, what you wish for doesn't fall in your lap; it falls somewhere nearby, and you Oh wow, hard to say if I'm horrified or fascinated or what. Usually, what you wish for doesn't fall in your lap; it falls somewhere nearby, and you have to recognize it, stand up, and put in the time and work it takes to get it.
This isn't because the universe is cruel. It's because the universe is smart. It has its own cat-string theory and knows we don't appreciate things that fall into our laps. But love isn't like that. It's a free-flowing energy that comes and goes when it pleases. Sometimes it stays for life; other times it stays for a second, a day, a month, or a year. So don't fear love when it comes simply because it makes you vulnerable. But don't be surprised when it leaves, either.
Just be glad you had the opportunity to experience it. Everything you do counts and brings you closer to your goal.
The right lifestyle is something that is worn, not discussed. Nov 08, Elyse Walters rated it it was amazing. One of the best things about looking through the 'Giveaways' on Goodreads is discovering new books coming out soon by authors you have read.
It was a gift Funny gift, I know But I enjoyed it more than I thought I enjoyed it t One of the best things about looking through the 'Giveaways' on Goodreads is discovering new books coming out soon by authors you have read. I enjoyed it tons and tons more than I thought! Strauss was very frank about his 'logical' methods: The best part of the book all kidding aside --was the science behind behind the techniques, and his personal 'real' life stories.
The book felt truthful - scary to a face this truth at times , It was nice to discover I didn't think Neil Stauss was a asshole. I saw his heart! Most, the book was very entertaining! View all 3 comments. Nov 06, La-Lionne rated it did not like it. I don't get this book. It's pathetic, the book, the men in it and their cult.
What a bunch of losers. It's mind boggling that this book was once on NYT best sellers list. I heard it being mentioned on Invasion of Privacy podcast and taught that it will be an interesting read. I was expecting to be thrown in into a secret society of men who decided to share their secrets on picking up women. What I got was a pile of bullshit on a pile of crap on a pile of whatthegoddamnfuck.
I refuse to beli I don't get this book. I refuse to believe that events in the book really happend in real life. Author is either full of it or world is over populated with women with tons of daddy issues, who would cut off their right tit for a side glance from a low life idiot. Their tactics and pick up lines were beyond stupid. The secret to picking up a woman - never show her you are interested right away, start with an insult first, about her character, the way she looks.
You should ignore a woman at first, talk to her friend in stead. If she does comment on something you said, smirk and say that it's cute the way her nose wiggles when she laughs, get her friends to notice too and get them laughing too. Then show her a magic trick. I don't know who to be mad at, these men in the book, or women who fell for this idiocity.
If a dude would say something like that to me, I would give him such a nasty stare down that his skin would start itching. I'm not exaggerating, that's the big secret.
Fake piercings are a must. Make shit up about your life, never show your true self. The self proclaimed love gurus talk a big game, but when you read further, you learn that they are nothing more than dudes who's mommies didn't hugged them enough. In one chapter you read about a guy sleeping with tons of women, in the next, that he's living with his parents and his grown ass sibling who's married and living at home too.
He talks about mind blowing threesomes and I wonder how he managed to sneak women in without his parents raising an eyebrow. What do women think, when a guy tells a fancy ass story of how big of a big shot he is, then brings you to his parents home to have sex. Women in the book don't question that, they seem to fall head over heels for this nonsence.
And they are talking about seducing a women of a high caliber. That is why I don't believe the events in the book. What smart, well educated, self confidant woman would fall for it? Because that is their priority target. According to these men, every one of them, because their lousy pick up lines are rock solid. And it's not just women in US who fall for this crap, the dudes are known worldwide, they travel from country to country picking up the best of the best of them.
Then there is the bullshit bit about the author climbing the latter of the pick up chain. He hasn't even got the chance to sniff a boob, yet his new buddies are in awe of his talents. I'm sure author wouldn't mind me calling him pathetic too, because his inner monologues hints towards him realizing how full of crap his new friends are. Then yet again, after DNFing this jewl, I read about the author and see a picture of him keeping the same makeover that the losers suggested.
And then, what do you know, a picture with his wife, that could be his daughter, who is a model, not well know, but still, has the title. According to the author, this journey was suppose to be an educational. What did he learn? Nothing, if the info about him is anything to go by. I just couldn't take it anymore of the nonsense. So those are the secrets to picking up women? Are you fucking kidding me? Losers like these existed since the beging of time.
It's not a secret. Why was this book a bestseller? I'll never understand. View 2 comments. Mar 05, Heather rated it did not like it Shelves: I don't usually say I've read a book when I haven't finished it. But I simply can't read the second half of this book without losing little parts of my soul on every page, and I damn well want recognition for those parts of my soul I have already lost.
So here I am, reviewing a book I haven't really read. Let's start with something important - Neil Strauss is a very talented writer, His style is not only engaging but often even literary, and I didn't just enjoy turning pages quickly but was quite I don't usually say I've read a book when I haven't finished it.
Let's start with something important - Neil Strauss is a very talented writer, His style is not only engaging but often even literary, and I didn't just enjoy turning pages quickly but was quite comfortable in the warm bath of his prose. So full points for style no pun intended. It's the content that stinks. The kind that is scared of women - and we all know fear breeds contempt, misunderstanding, and misrepresentation.
He admits his nerdery freely, but what he seems to have missed in the detail of this horrifically graphic, autobiographical book of sexual exploration and psychological navel gazing, is that pick-up does not transform him. While he is swept up in a world that gives him magical powers to overcome his own shortcomings again, no pun intended , he doesn't understand that the essential problem in his sex life is that he doesn't see it as social life - in other words, he still sees women as objects, not people.
Style still doesn't understand women because he has failed to identify with them. If this is a book about freeing your sexuality, it is also a book about stifling your humanity. It is about using your words to manipulate, and using sex to dominate.
Without throwing a single punch, it is fundamentally violent. It claims to be about demystifying women, but really it is about stripping them of all reality and moulding them into what some men would rather they were - mindless, obedient pliable, and constantly, overtly sexual.
There may have been some kind of redemption later in the book, but I could not wait around for it - too much had already been said. Too many stereotypes had been promoted and too many coded ways of undermining women had been let loose into the slimy gutters and the minds of readers. I couldn't handle this book. It made me nauseous. Mr Strauss, please use your powers of writing for good next time. People are likely to have strong feelings about this book, from disgust to bemusement to desperate interest on the part of the AFCs "Average Frustrated Chumps" that Strauss talks so much about, after confessing to being one.
However, it should be understood that this particular book is a memoir and an expose by a Rolling Stone journalist, not an actual pickup guide.
While Strauss talks a lot about the "seduction techniques" he and his fellow PUAs Pick-Up Artists developed, this isn't a self- People are likely to have strong feelings about this book, from disgust to bemusement to desperate interest on the part of the AFCs "Average Frustrated Chumps" that Strauss talks so much about, after confessing to being one. While Strauss talks a lot about the "seduction techniques" he and his fellow PUAs Pick-Up Artists developed, this isn't a self-help guide for teaching them.
If that is what you're looking for, Strauss still runs a company call "Stylelife Academy" which sells workshops and DVDs and coaching, etc. I listened to this book narrated by the author himself because of course I have heard of these "Pickup Artists" and while I have no interest in playing "the Game" or becoming the sort of person they describe, it's an interesting, fascinating, somewhat pathetic subculture, but it's also instructive.
For example, feminists tend to react most strongly to PUAs and their philosophy, which tends to treat women as puzzles you have to unlock. Get the right combination of words and gestures and you score the poontang. It's obviously dehumanizing in its implications, and Strauss keeps going back and forth, admitting on the one hand that PUA lifestyle is dehumanizing and tends to lead to misogyny, but on the other hand, defending the poor involuntary celibates who are just looking for love and can't figure out why what they are doing isn't working.
The more interesting thing and possibly infuriating, fascinating, or disturbing, depending on your POV is that it's evident that these routines work. It's not mind control or a secret passcode that will get women to have sex with you, but Strauss and his PUAs really have figured out a series of approaches that can be executed in an almost algorithmic fashion, and which elicit desired responses i.
The key to it is that they are playing a numbers game, which means getting over the natural aversion most people have to making countless approaches and being rebuffed the vast majority of times, and perhaps more importantly, they are looking for certain types of women and certain types of relationships.
After spending a couple of years in this lifestyle, Strauss becomes weary of it because he and his posse are living like unwashed bachelors in a Hollywood mansion, with hot and cold running women, internecine catfights male and female over everything from relationships to money to household chores, and in the meantime, while PUAs do get laid a lot, very few of them wind up in fulfilling long-term relationships.
Their original objective getting a woman to bestow interest and affection and sex has become an end in itself, and as Strauss describes it, the very process becomes addictive. That said, listen to how he describes these techniques, and you can see that while most women will say "Oh, that would never work on me," in fact it does. I think what a lot of PUAs miss is that perfecting calculated psychological manipulation as an art and a science isn't gender specific - you could easily develop similar techniques to work on men, or for application outside the domain of romance.
Mystery who teaches the Mystery Method looks like this: PUAs call this "Peacocking. Keep in mind that these guys, in the book, are mostly operating in Hollywood.
You can do this in LA or Vegas or NYC - I suspect they wouldn't advise you to "peacock" in quite the same way if you are trying some Game at your church social in Boise. Mystery, it turns out, is a mess, and that's true of pretty much all the PUAs. None of them start out as "alpha males," which is why they do so much posturing to convince everyone they are one.
Most of them are really sad, damaged little boys. This shows itself over and over again as no matter how much Mystery and Strauss score, inside they are still the same old insecure, needy guys seeking female approval that they always were. Strauss's account of life in the PUA community makes it easy to see how they'd attract a certain sort of person, and yet it doesn't seem to lead anywhere but emptiness. But there is more to them than desperate guys trying to get laid.
Strauss manages to use his "Game" even on celebrities. In the presence of Tom Cruise, he sees a true alpha male; Cruise may be a Scientologist wacko, but he's also a genuinely charismatic and forceful personality.
Strauss ends up sharing a house with Courtney Love for weeks, dates one of her band members, and during an interview with a very bored and uncooperative Britney Spears, uses his PUA techniques to turn it around and have Britney eating out of the palm of his hand.
It's also funny when he talks about the splintering and franchising of PUA "Projects," particularly towards the end, as Strauss goes cruising Hollywood bars and finds all the women reacting with bored amusement to his lines, which have now been disseminated so thoroughly that everyone has heard them. This book isn't going to help you with your love life, but it's a fascinating look at psychology and a subculture that seems most fit for reality TV shows.
Jun 19, Leo Robertson rated it liked it. Rating this because of what it provided me based on my own reasons for reading writing research. I've been reading a little about Cluster B personality disorders, and I think the rules and attitudes outlined in this book relate a lot to that.
The pithy arguments in favour of the lifestyle it promotes effectively including "Some of these dweebs would've shot up their schools if I hadn't helped them lose their virginity" sounded almost identical to those in favour of sociopaths from Confessions Rating this because of what it provided me based on my own reasons for reading writing research.
The pithy arguments in favour of the lifestyle it promotes effectively including "Some of these dweebs would've shot up their schools if I hadn't helped them lose their virginity" sounded almost identical to those in favour of sociopaths from Confessions of a Sociopath , one of which was, "Sociopaths do a lot of good in their community because they are often high-ranking lawyers, CEOs etc.
By that logic, you can bet that better, non-sociopathic candidates should rightfully have the higher ranking jobs stolen from them by unscrupulous manipulators. It's like, these men tried everything but changing their attitudes towards women.
They went all out to do anything but that. Do you think you can be contemptuous and compassionate at the same time? And there's all the kind of blanket statements you'd expect about everyone wanting this lifestyle, it's beneficial for both parties because women enjoy being wooed etc.
This is sociopathic also, I feel: But it didn't make me mad; it just made me sad. It's in the make-up of life that we often yearn for one thing that will make us feel whole forever- why doesn't such a thing exist? Can't we be docile and sated by something , at least for like a few weeks, even? Life is tough, man- but you're not gonna find the cure in there. I'm not repelled by the text because I know fine well if I met a master manipulator, they probably could convince me to do just about anything.
That's not a slight on my lack of character but something I think most people should admit would happen when they meet someone who has dedicated most of their time and mental energy towards the pursuit of exactly what they want, which is all they think about all the time.
There's only one solution when it comes to people like that: Because their manipulation often relies on you believing you're the special one who will teach them the error of their ways! It's just another layer of their shit sandwich. They'll work out what you value and use against you in a way that is so cynical, you'll wish you were never exposed to it.
I've met horrible people but never sociopaths, but I imagine the experience is shocking, both that someone can live their life thinking so little of human interaction, that it's all a self-serving pleasure-based construct or whatever; and also because the attitude is near irrefutable. I'm not surprised by what happened to Strauss afterwards, since, as I suspected when reading this, he is not in fact a sociopath- which is a shame, because otherwise he could have gained lifelong satisfaction from being a pickup artist- he was just a lonely guy whose greatest hollow seduction he performed on himself.
I will be interested to read his latest book also, but I don't think he should be surprised what a tough time he will have trying to reverse public opinion of him.
Who could even quantify the damage this book has done? May 30, Minxycampbellstein rated it it was amazing. This book addicted me even before I owned it. I found it on the floor of a friend's house and devoured two chapters before I ran to Borders to get it for myself. Then I found myself staying up till all hours to finish it, taking notes, chatting with friends about it, and reading everything the author put out. And I'm a woman. I didn't find it offensive, ridiculous, or prurient, I found it a nice tasty behavioral anthropological meal.
At the same time, I didn't pity or laugh at the guys pictured i This book addicted me even before I owned it. At the same time, I didn't pity or laugh at the guys pictured inside.
Real social pressures were at play on everyone involved, and Strauss depicted all his subjects with brotherly affection. Even the women, who a lesser writer would have objectified completely, were treated with respect and fairness. He's honest about his feelings for them, or lack thereof.
It struck me a break-neck epic full of anti-heroes and anti-heroines all competing for love, sex, and glory, and I ate it up. Apr 11, smetchie rated it liked it Shelves: I hate this book. I hate myself for reading it. I tried not to. I hate Neil Strauss and I hate every idiotgirl who slept with him or gave him her number.
It's true that I love to hate and that would be reason enough not to drop kick this book into the nearest dumpster. Also, I got it from the library so that would be rude and I'd have to pay for it anyway.
But I actually enjoyed it, God help me. The author put an astronomical amount of time and energy into bamboozling people and dammit it wo I hate this book. The author put an astronomical amount of time and energy into bamboozling people and dammit it worked. He's a pathetic little man but he's actually kind of likable. I'm ashamed of the women who've fallen for all this pick-up artist bullshit and I'm ashamed of the men who wasted actual brain-power on learning how to do it.
I don't want to believe that there are hundreds of thousands of men out there who want, more than anything else in life, to be able to nail chicks that are way too hot for them. Help Centre. My Wishlist Sign In Join. Neil Strauss. Be the first to write a review. Sorry, the eBook that you are looking for is not available right now.
Instant Download. The Professional The Game Maker: Book 1. Squash A History of the Game. The Game of Silence Birchbark House. Typhon Pact 1 Zero Sum Game. The Egypt Game. Allure of the Game A Novel. A Rogue's Game. Description eBook Details Click on the cover image above to read some pages of this book!One of Ross Jeffries's most famous patterns uses a Discovery Channel show about roller coaster design as a metaphor for the attraction, trust, and excitement that are often necessary preconditions for sex The pattern describes the "perfect attraction," which provides a feeling of excitement as the roller coaster rises to a summit and then whooshes down in a rush; then it offers a feeling of safety, because it was designed to allow you to have this experience in a comfortable, safe environment; finally, as soon as the ride is over, you want to climb back on and ride it again and again.
He texted a few times, then started to mention sex, at which point I told him to please go away, then deleted his number. That was definitely not an IOI. But there is more to them than desperate guys trying to get laid. The Deeper Message of the Book. Honestly, sinister soon gives way to pathetic in this book.
Then, in synchronicity, we moved down her body to her neck and her breasts. To this I'd say, it's hard to say that "all women are unfaithful" if your sample selection is "attractive, urban, young women drinking in bars or clubs. I concede this isn't one most of my friends will read. But his lifestyle was legendary.
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